Breathe
by mrschanandlerbing
Summary: Tenzin deals with his loss...


The battle between him and his tear ducts is slowly becoming unbearable. His eyes sting, his chest hurts from the unexpressed feelings. But being a man, a status society burdened him from the beginning forced him to suppress the sadness that has been slowly filling his gut.

The fight is over. Death has won. Katara is gone.

Kya has been sobbing for the past two hours and Bumi sat beside their late mother, grief-stricken and unable to move. He has to get out of here. He has to or he'll choke.

His wife entered the room and approached him to circle her arms around him. He looked at her with his sad eyes, trying to tell her everything he couldn't express without his voice cracking. He closed his eyes and thought of the past few months his family underwent.

The scans the doctor showed broke their hearts, but what could you do if the sickness reached its terminal end? Tenzin did not see the news coming, but this—Katara's death—was predictable. The doctors and healers all said she didn't have at least three months to live, but she lived through four.

In those four months, they all made their best to alleviate the pain the aged waterbendender felt. In the last four months, they all made it clear their love for her was unending and unwavering. They had times of laughter, and tears were shed in those times, but mostly, it contained the pain of knowing that there was nothing they could do to save her.

He was grateful for the remaining time his mother had but the three of them knew the time wasn't enough. It will never be enough.

"We need to move her body," Pema whispered softly. She was sobbing now, but still, he didn't break. He nodded and rose to tell his siblings. He tapped Kya on the shoulder and looked at Bumi.

With a loud sigh and a gentle voice he said, "It has been two hours. I think we should move her body." Kya nodded in approval.

"Bumi?" Kya called. "We..w-we should m-move…" She wasn't able to finish her sentence as another wave of tears and sobbing filled her.

Bumi rubbed his tired eyes. "Just…can we just have a few more minutes with her?" Tenzin took a large breath and nodded.

"Sure," he said. He headed for the door. He couldn't stand another minute with his mother's body and his siblings' crying. He has to get away. "Take your time. I need to…" He walked out with his glider in his hand. Finding an open window he jumped out into the open, moonlit sky header for a place where he can grieve alone, away from prying and judging eyes.

* * *

He was hoping and praying, even, that she would be home. He didn't know how she would react to the news but the lump in his throat has been bothering him and forced his fist to knock gently on her apartment door.

It took a minute before Lin Beifong opened the door. She was just in her tank top, signalling that she just got off from work. He stood motionless in front of her, saying nothing. He had no intention of coming to her but his unconscious seemed to have told him to seek her comfort, or advice, since she has been through the same thing. She also lost her mother in the past.

She broke the silence that engulfed them, knowing fully that he needs her. "I heard."

"Oh?" he responded. That was what he was capable at that moment. He was silent again and she reached out a hand to usher him in.

"I'm sorry, Tenzin." Her voice did not crack, her eyes did not have tears but he knows she feels the same pain. He accepted her invitation and followed her in her apartment. He sat on her couch and laid his staff down before looking up at her. This time, he was strong enough for some words.

"She's…" he started, hesitant to continue the statement. He gave her a fake smile, on that tries to say 'I'm not supposed to cry' and that he's strong.

"Go on," she urged. "It helps if…or if you don't want to, don't force it." She sat beside him and held his hand between hers. He opened his mouth and closed it again, unsure of himself. Her hand slid to his back and patted him. "It's okay to cry."

He shook his head and looked at her straight in the eye. "I'm okay."

"You're not," she insisted. Her grip on his hand tightened and her eyes softened. "Tell me, Ten."

The weight became heavier and his stomach lurched at her urging and finally, he did it. "How did you do it?" He removed his had from hers and backed away from her. "You, Lin. How did…how are you like this right now with your mother gone?"

It has begun. She could see it now. His breakdown has begun.

"I mean, you grow up with her always around," he went on. "And then when you are at my age you just receive some news that your mother is sick and what in the world is that?" He stood and paced in front of her. "I know no one lives forever, but…" He stopped and stared at her with the most questioning eyes she has ever seen, demanding for a response from her. She didn't say anything and shook her head.

And then in the middle of the silence, a tear escaped him.

He quickly wiped it off and sat beside her again. "I can't do this," he admitted. "I…I just can't."

She rubbed his back as she pulled him in her embrace and kissed the crown of his head. "Let it go. Let her go," she whispered. She kept on rubbing his back and then slowly, she felt his tears on her hand. "Cry it out, Tenzin."

He was sobbing now, unable to stop himself, finally surrendering to the urge that has been building up from the moment his mother's heart stop beating. "Let it out," Lin pressed on. "It's…it's part of life and one way or another death has to come." She planted another kiss on his crown again, trying to soothe his pain. "It's just our unfortunate luck that we have to witness it."

He continued sobbing and circled her waist, tightening his grip as the pain intensified with every wave of tears. "I can't stop crying," he said. "I…I can't stop and…I-I st-still need t-to arrange the f-fune-funeral."

She held him for another hour and finally, with one last sigh he stopped crying. Lin took this chance to get up and get him a pitcher of water from the kitchen. When she returned she quickly offered him a glass of water which, thankfully, he accepted and emptied. She was worried he might dehydrate and gave him another glass.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and Lin pushed in his hand a little white handkerchief. He took it and wiped his eyes and cheek. "Thank you." His voice was still thick. "For everything," he supplied.

She nodded in return and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," he answered. "Thank you again."

"No problem."

He stood up, got his glider and walked to the door with her following. "I…I need to go, Lin. I still need to arrange the funeral." She gave him another nod and pulled him again in a tight embrace. When they broke apart, he kissed her cheek and said, "I knew coming here would help. I should go."

"I knew what you needed. You've been keeping it all in here," she rested a hand on his left chest. "It's not good and you know it."

"I was trying to be strong," he explained. "I had to."

"You don't always have to be strong, you know."

He acknowledged her words with a smile and started to walk down the hallway. He halted and turned to face her again. "It would be on the day after tomorrow, the funeral."

"I'll be there." The reply was short but he felt reassured and he felt a thousand times better.

* * *

When he got back to the island, Katara's body has been moved and was on its way to be embalmed. Pema waited for him in their bedroom and was just finished lulling the children back to sleep. She smiled as she caught a glimpse of him. "I told them when you left." She put Rohan down on his crib and approached her husband. "How are you?"

"I'm alright." He smiled and gave her a chaste kiss. "I'm all better. I just need to get some food, I'm starving."

He planted a kiss on his children's foreheads before heading out, and as he passed the room his mother occupied in her last few months, he smiled. "Goodbye, mom."

* * *

A/N: I don't know what else to say. I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
